The Retro Hoodie Has Arrived!!!

“The Hoodie”—The hoodie serves as the modern cloak. A clothing article designed for practicality in comfort but equally at home in a functional role.

First we must designate the key features of the hoodie.

1. The titular Hood.

2. The body of the hoodie

3. The sleeves.

Now the material should be of some note. Not every garment with a hood is a hoodie. Not true, the hoodie should be made of a soft material. Remember this is more of a sweater.Now we also have zip ups and pull overs. Pull overs work best if one is only to be wearing hoodie and need not access more than their belt line. Where as the zip allows for less awkward donning and doffing.

Now socially the hoodie is viewed as a lazy article of clothing. But this allows us a certain level of social camouflage. A man or woman in hoodie has the ability to pull up said noted article of this modern marvel, and they have blocked out the woes of the world, along with providing themselves some anonymity. The question of brands come to mind. While some hoodies can run into the thousands for a “supremely” overrated brand name. I prefer the simpler ones. I rarely spend more than 100 dollars on a premium hoodie and less than 30 on standard fare. Solid recommendation is if the company makes work boots or athletic gear that they will indeed make a fine hooded sweatshirt.

Variants.

The Fighter. This pull over hoodie has had the sleeves cut, all cords removed and the hood it’s self made shallow. This garment is worn to the Gym, dojo, or out door range it provides the wearer a degree of comfort and concealment when cooling down and its front kangaroo pocket easily holds a phone and ear buds.

The Wizard. Greatly over sized this hoodie is often favored by scholars who spend long hours hunched over tomes of knowledge in the great libraries. It’s deep hood allows for seclusion from the outside world filled with distractions from the pursuit of knowledge. Note: Small Females can often be found in these. So take care when absentmindedly throwing them into the hamper.

The Urban Ranger. Designed for movement among the cluttered streets while keeping the wearer little more than a vague memory in those he passes. He sheds it easily without haste when entering areas overly heated. And re-equips it when needed without disturbing the rest of his clothing.

–   Jack

Many thanks to our great friend Jack Clemons for this officially sanctioned plagiarism.